23/5/14
I am currently on the flight heading to Vanuatu to meet James and the boat in order to sail to Fiji. As I look out the window I reflect back on the last couple of years and cannot believe how quickly the time has gone and how much we have achieved in this time. I am grateful for the time we have spent with family and friends, the laughs we have shared and the memories we have formed, these will stay with us forever.
When I left this morning I held back tears whilst hugging and kissing the kids whom I will not see for a couple of weeks. I wonder whether they really understand what we are about to undertake or do they think this is just another of mummy's crazy ideas? So many questions pop into my head and I am overwhelmed by emotional fear and guilt, fear of not seeing them again, guilt of leaving them behind, guilt of throwing them in the deep end to live this unconventional lifestyle to fulfil "the" dream. This leads me to a conversation I had recently with a friend about INTENT. He asked me what was the real intention behind why we are doing this? Whilst I rattled off a few things I am not sure I came up with anything concrete. The question was not posed as judgement of my choices nor did he want to pry, it was purely to make me aware of the intention behind decisions we make and whether we are making them for the right reasons. How often do we consciously think about our intention when making decisions? The question played on my mind and I found myself thinking about it for a long time until I finally arrived at the core of why we are doing this.
I hope that one day our kids realise that at the heart of their parents sense of adventure and need for change, are good intentions that we feel will benefit us as a family. Whilst our choices may appear irresponsible and fickle we have always considered our children's happiness as the primary driver and we feel so fortunate that we are able to share this time with them. I hope this experience will expand their horizon (and ours) and allow them to experience life outside of the bubble we live in. I am most curious of what they will think of the places we visit, how they will interact with other children, the difference/similarities they came across and what memories will stay with them. I cant wait to see them develop and grow as they encounter new adventures.
A comment was passed recently about the affordability of this kind of lifestyle to which I felt the need to respond and break down some of the judgements formed. So for anyone who has thought that we must be doing well or we must have plenty of money ... we don't....a decision like this does not come without sacrifices however it is about choices and priorities. We dared to dream, we made a plan, we set a date and here we are about to do it!!
It's the choices we make not the chances we take that decide our fate...............
